EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
