YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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