ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
