i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
