Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
