Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
They have beer where we have blood.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
