she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
