I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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