I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
