my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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