If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize