i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
