DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
