i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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