Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
