I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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