Soap is not a condiment
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
