First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
