If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
