it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
