Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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