It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
