Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
When are your genitals available?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
