let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
