Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
