and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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