I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
