So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
