FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
