I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
