So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
