Man, jail baloney is awful.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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