No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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