so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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