Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
