READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
