The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize