Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
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Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
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Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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