I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
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he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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