i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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