but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
