Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize