Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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