i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
