I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
