it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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