I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
