i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
