I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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