it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
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this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
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Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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