You can't motorboat a personality
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
