I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
