Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
