If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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