But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize