"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
