Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize