when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
