i think my tv is drunk
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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