You can't motorboat a personality
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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