Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
