Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
