We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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