On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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